Just one of those days...

Oh my gosh today was too eventful to not write about. Considering only 3 people ever read this, I don't feel weird sharing the story. I apologize to anyone who felt like I was the biggest jerk in the world today. Particular my sweet Nathan and my poor mother.

10 am. Shower. (I was lucky I did that much.) I was probably the most unpleasant person in the entire world. Here's why: My broken tailbone was killing me, I had a pinched nerve in my back, I was more emotional than I'd been in months, I was on my period, and I had cramps like crazy. All that should be enough to put me in a bad mood. To top it all off, Nathan had a hike planned for us. A HIKE. In the middle of WINTER. I wish I could say I was excited, because I'm sure my sweetheart put a lot of thought into planning a nice day for us. But lemme tell you, I didn't even want to be around me today, so I definitely didn't want to make my poor Nathan be anywhere near me. It was one of those days where I should've gone back to bed the second I woke up. My roommates knew exactly what was wrong and kept telling me that it would be fun and that as soon as I was with Nathan I would probably be fine. I just have to say. A girl can honestly not help it when it gets this way. ESPECIALLY the emotional aspect. My amazing roommates listened to my grumbling and gave me hugs. I just knew I wouldn't make it through the day without the water works.

11 am. Nathan was supposed to pick me up.

11:11 am. "I wish that I won't be a bad word today!" Did it come true? HA!

11:35am. Nathan came to pick me up. I wasn't ready. Why? Do I have to have a reason when I'm in that kind of a mood? I thought to myself (keep in mind I'm not usually mean, it just happened to be a bad day), "Gosh! He's half an hour late! And he BETTER not say a thing about me not being ready." Oh boy he sure lucked out. I'm dating a smart man, a man who happened to know it was that time of the month and knew when to not push my buttons. Cause let me tell ya, this morning they were easily pushed. Actually though, Nathan is the most wonderful man and never says anything unkind, so even if I wasn't easy to anger today, I'm sure he still wouldn't have said anything about my lack of readiness.

11:45 am. I'm ready. We leave my apartment and get in the car. Tears start welling up in my eyes. I hold them back. Nathan says, "I don't really have any plans between now and when we go to lunch with your family." Come again? "I thought we were going on a hike..." (I thought I was doing alright at not being a butt to him.) "Well we don't have time since we only have an hour." "I wish you would've told me 10 minutes ago so I could've changed out of my ugly hiking clothes into normal clothes." "Well let's go back to your apartment so you can change." My sweet, caring, wonderful, perfect boyfriend, just trying to help. There was nothing mean or confrontational about his statement. I snapped. "I don't want to go back to my apartment!!" Oh my gosh self, you're being such a bad word right now! Stop! But I couldn't. I felt like I was permanently in a bad mood and there was nothing I could do about it. Tears almost brimming over. Half because I'm an emotional time bomb and half because I just snapped at my sweet boyfriend who did absolutely nothing wrong. Hold them back! HOLD THEM BACK!!!

12 pm. We went to my parents' instead. My grandparents were visiting so I gave them a hug and my mom looked at me and said, "Are you okay?" I lost it. Right then and there. Here come the water works. (Except I wasn't playing Monopoly.) The tears just kept coming and coming and I was sobbing. Luckily I left the room as soon as the first tear fell. Yet again, poor Nathan. Standing in the living room, probably thinking, "well now what..." Meanwhile, in my parents' bedroom. Mom: "Just let it out. You'll feel better. Sometimes you just have to cry." I was bawling, not just crying. Probably couldn't even be understood. "I don't know why I'm crying! *sob sob* But I can't stop! *sniffle snuffle* Nathan probably thinks I'm mad at him! *snotty kleenex* But I'm not! *more tears* And I snapped at him!" On and on. Yada yada yada. "I just put my makeup on and now my mascara is probably all gone!" "No, it's just in the wrong place." More tears.

12:20 pm. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wiping mascara off my face. My gosh I didn't know it could be in so many places. In walks Quinton. Big hug. It was good to see my goofy brother act sincere. Next up: dad. Another big hug. "It's alright. This happens to your mother too." "Does Nathan know?" "Your mom told him you were just emotional today. It's better that he experience this now and not later..." No dad, he might run away screaming! Finally, when I was as cleaned up as I was going to get, puffyand red eyes still... puffy and red, I sheepishly walked down the stairs and sat on the couch next to my abandoned boyfriend. As much as I didn't want to be touched this morning, I really needed that reassuring arm he put around me when I sat down.

1 pm. Lunch with the fam. I was just fine after my little cry fest. Okay sob fest. Maybe a little quiet, but perfectly content. Not emotional, not in a bad mood, AND not acting like a bad word. I guess that just goes to show sometimes crying is all that I need and all that can help.

4 pm. Nathan and I got back to his house. He puts the car in park, smiles, and pulls a little black box out of his jacket pocket. He gently tossed it in the air and said, "I was going to do this today, but you kind of foiled my plans," and kissed me on the cheek.